It's All Fun and Games Read online

  Simon looked ready to speak, but TJ interrupted. “Yeah, well, it’s true those events were unfortunate. But none of us had a hand in them. You should have no quarrel with us. Speak your piece and then be gone.”

  “Oh, speak my piece, eh? Well, here is the peace I am speaking. Danger in these woods there is. Greater danger than the Bonecrusher clan has ever seen. Greater danger than the Bonecrusher clan ever wants to see. If on this path you continue, an unfortunate doom you will meet. But if that doom you meet and overcome, earn the friendship of the Bonecrusher clan you will, as well as any shinies we may have.” The goblin began cackling madly but after several seconds fell into a coughing fit. Waving, he stepped back into the shadows of the bushes.

  “Wait! Can’t you tell us anything more?” asked Chuck. But by that point the creature was completely hidden from view.

  A moment later the robed figure was back, but this time he wore a judge’s armband rather than the goblin’s mask. He looked blankly at the group and said, “The goblin has disappeared.” His transition from goblin to game official indicated that this particular NPC was no longer in play for their party.

  The six looked at each other briefly before Allison said with a sigh, “Well, that was ominous, but not terribly informative. I guess we just keep moving and see what happens?”

  Chuck looked at her and said, “Oh no, I don’t think we’re quite through here yet.” He approached the judge and showed him one of the skill chits attached to his carabiner. “I search the area, particularly the bushes where he had been hiding.”

  The judge smiled and said, “Aha. Well, as it happens, with that many ranks, in your search you spot something glinting on the ground. Upon closer inspection, you find this. You’re lucky—we hadn’t really expected anyone to be able to spot that. Assists wouldn’t have helped.” Looking at TJ, the judge said, “Galphalon’s a wizard, right?” At TJ’s nod, he handed a laminated three-by-five note card and a purple armband to Chuck, then concluded with, “There is nothing else for you to see here. It’s time to move on.” This was a none-too-subtle hint that they should be out of sight before the next group came behind so as not to ruin the experience for them.

  Chuck gave the note card a quick glance and emitted a low whistle. “Good stuff, folks. Let’s get moving, and everyone can take a look at it on the way.” He shot a jealous glance at Allison. “You are one lucky little newbie. Wait till you see what you get to play with!” He handed her the armband and said, “Put that on right away.” Despite the confused look on her face, she did as he instructed.

  Stu gave the card only a brief glance before resuming his position as scout, but he was grinning when he handed it to TJ.

  As TJ read over the card, he said, “Whoa, yeah. Chuckles was right about this one. Check this thing out.” He handed it to Allison.

  “What’s it say?” Jimmy called out from behind. He had resumed his position as rear guard and was anxiously looking into the trees, sword still at the ready. The encounter with the goblin hadn’t taken very long, so there could very well be an ambush set up ahead. “I want to know what it is too!”

  Allison read the card aloud. “‘Ring of Ancient Triumph. One of the magical implements created during the third age of the Ny’Zull dynasty by the master dwarven craftsman Dylan Bloodforge.’ Good grief, there is a lot of exposition here. How are we supposed to know all that?”

  TJ answered, “That’s why he asked if I was a wizard, as opposed to some other spellcaster, like a mage or a sorcerer. It is assumed that as part of my studies I have learned all sorts of history about magic from past ages. If I hadn’t been here, he would have given us a different card, which wouldn’t have included any of the backstory and might not have even told us anything about the ring’s power. But keep reading—you haven’t gotten to the good part.

  She continued: “‘This ring was crafted for the High Autarch of the Ny’Zull’s religion and can only be worn by one who channels divine power.’ I guess that’s me, right?”

  TJ nodded and winked.

  “‘As the ultimate conduit between the Heavens and the priesthood, the High Autarch was expected to manifest the gods’ power for all the people to see. When the Ny’Zull pantheon began to wane during the Godswar, the High Autarch commissioned this ring to be made as a way to bolster his weakening power. The wearer of this ring is granted the following abilities:

  “‘One, five extra spellcasts each day, of any spell rank.’ Whoa. That doubles the number of spells I’ve got. I bet I won’t be running out of those heals on you after all, will I?

  “‘Two, the power of the ring encases the wearer in a magical shell that reduces the effectiveness of enemy weapons, mundane and magical. This effectively increases the wearer’s armor rating by six points and negates any magical effects projected by enemy weapons.’ That sounds cool enough.

  “‘Three, the ring radiates an aura of majesty that influences the way others see the wearer. All reactions will be shifted positively by one tier, and all creatures of rank three or lower are awed by the bearer—they will defend themselves if provoked, but will not attack of their own volition.’ Now that is cool. Any of you guys lower than rank four? If so, you may begin bowing down in front of me now.” She turned a pirouette and dipped into a deep curtsy.

  “Nope, sorry, Allison,” Simon said with a chuckle. “None of us are threes. But Chuck wasn’t kidding. That ring has no business being in the hands of a newbie. They must have figured that if someone in the party had sufficient search skill to find it, anyone capable of wearing it would also be a pretty high level. That’s the sort of thing you’ll probably never see again in-game. None of us have anything that rivals it in power. Unless you do, Stu.”

  “Nope, not me. Just my trusty bow.”

  Chuck let out a laugh. “You know what this means, Allison, don’t you?”

  “What?”

  “You’re going to have to keep coming back to play.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because if word gets out that an item like that went to a first-timer who never came back, you’re going to have people egging your house for years to come.”

  “Yeah, well, we’ll see. This is turning out to be more fun than I expected.”

  The snap of a twig was the only warning they had before all hell broke loose.

  CHAPTER 5

  It began with a flight of arrows from the bushes to the left of the path. Everyone knew that the missiles—identical to the ones Stu carried, with large padded heads—were unlikely to actually hurt anyone, but the effect was no less startling.

  A guttural voice shouted, “Arrows, two points!” and Jimmy and Chuck, both of whom had been hit, called back, “Arrow hit, minus two points.” Three other arrows missed their mark, sailing harmlessly over Allison’s and TJ’s heads. The six friends hastily retreated behind some trees, and a second round of arrows bounced off their cover.

  The voice called out again. “Surrender, or die painfully!”

  Allison looked over at the others and shrugged. Peeking her head out from behind the tree, she replied, “And what happens if we surrender?”

  As soon as her face was visible, a third flight of arrows flew across the path, all targeted at her. Her eyes grew wide and she ducked back with a squeak. Luckily, they all passed by.

  “What about my stupid ring?” she complained.

  “Must be level fours.” TJ shrugged. “Just keep ducking.”

  Stu, who had gotten his bow out, fired an arrow of his own toward the bushes. “Magic arrow, seven points, accuracy skill mark two!” he shouted.

  The arrow got caught in the bushes and hung their limply. Nonetheless, a figure stepped out from them on the other side and called, “Accuracy hit, seven damage, dead.” He then proceeded to stagger back and forth several times before falling to the ground with a dramatic groan.

  Stu grinned wolfishly. “Cool, huh? A new skill I picked up with my last rank. I’m only able to do it twice a day, though, and I’d ra
ther not blow my second one now in a lame ambush encounter. Not that they necessarily know that, do they?” Then he shouted, “Go ahead, do that again. Lemme see where you’re hiding.”

  There were several moments of tense silence before the sound of voices in grunted conversation drifted across the distance. Suddenly, four bodies charged from the bushes and toward the trees where the friends crouched. Their foes were dressed all in brown and wore wolf masks. Having left their bows behind, the wolf men brandished short padded weapons that looked to be either clubs or swords, though Allison couldn’t be sure which. Given her newness at the game and how fragile her character was, she figured it didn’t really matter which. Whether she got stabbed or beaten to death, the end result was the same.

  Stu released another arrow, again calling out, “Magic arrow, seven points,” this time without the accuracy skill.

  The arrow flew true, and the monster struck in the chest said, “Arrow hit, seven damage, dead.” Then he fell over like his friend, mimicking the over-the-top death sequence.

  Jimmy, knowing that his enormous sword was of no use among the trees, leapt out to meet them on open ground before they could close the full distance. Swinging his blade wildly over his head, he roared, “Magic flamberge, ten points!”

  The three remaining enemies, seeing his berserker headband, immediately converged upon him and tried to dodge within the radius of his swings. Clearly concerned about Stu’s archery, they kept to the far side of the path in the hope that Jimmy would provide them cover from arrows.

  Each of the wolf men announced, “Club, two damage,” and began swinging their weapons at Jimmy, but none were able to get close enough to score on him. Allison suddenly realized why the other boys had been so happy about the giant sword. It seemed unlikely that any enemies would be able to get close enough to strike him so long as he was paying attention. The only way they’d be able to bring him down would be if they gang rushed him. Two would certainly die, but the third might be able to do some damage.

  Stu let loose a third arrow, which passed dangerously close to Jimmy.

  “Cut that out!” Jimmy shouted, and Stu dropped his bow with a sigh.

  Unfortunately, Stu had spent so many skill points on archery, his melee and armor skills were next to useless. Because of this, rather than charging into the fray with the sword he had drawn, he hung back in the hope that Jimmy would mop them up alone.

  Chuck, on the other hand, was eager to put his new skill point in daggers to use and stepped out of the woods with his weapon drawn. Jimmy’s weapon was still whistling back and forth, keeping the wolf men’s attention, so Chuck circled around to engage their enemies from behind. He planned to set up a flanking position and end the battle quickly.

  TJ turned to Allison. “Stay put. You’re no good to us dead.” Then he stepped out from the trees. “Magic missile!” he shouted, narrowly missing one of their enemies with a thrown beanbag.

  Simon joined, threw a beanbag of his own at Jimmy’s feet, and called out, “Curse enemy. Minus two to all damage.” The wolf men looked dismayed, and Jimmy pressed the attack. If their clubs could do only two damage points in the first place, and they all suffered a minus two on each hit, then now their strikes would be ineffectual. They turned to run, but by that time Chuck had circled around them, and the two boys made quick work of their foes.

  When the NPCs had removed their masks and donned their judge armbands, Chuck again told them his search skill rank, and he was given a card indicating that they had found some small coins but nothing else of real value. Not even the weapons were worth keeping—it turned out those clubs were just the leg bones of some unfortunate past dinners and the bows were equally junky. Meanwhile, Stu retrieved the arrows he had fired and placed them back in his quiver.

  Allison flashed Simon a smile and said, “That was a nice trick there, though kinda anticlimactic. How come there’s nothing to show for it but those coins?”

  “That, my friend, is what we call an Obligatory Thug Attack, and there’s usually something along these lines in each adventure. It’s not important to the plot, and there’s no real life-threatening danger, but the hope is that it makes the party use up some of its resources early, so when we run into something more challenging we aren’t at full power. For instance, both TJ and I blew a spell, and though I don’t disagree with Stu’s use of his accuracy ability, that’s the sort of thing that could really come in handy later. We took a little damage, but that’s really not a big deal, particularly with a healer handy.”

  TJ interjected, “Though if we hadn’t had Stu and his bow, we might have found ourselves in a very different situation. If I’d been setting this up, I’d have had another group ready to come at us from behind in the event that we hid behind the trees. For all we know, they’re still out there, but when they saw what we did to their friends, they melted back into the forest. I agree that this was mostly just a nuisance, but it could very easily have turned into something worse.”

  Simon nodded and continued. “As for loot, don’t get spoiled by that ring we found. Most encounters don’t give much of anything. I mean, think about it. These wolf men jumped a bunch of armed adventurers. They were probably pretty desperate.”

  “Well, one thing’s for sure,” said Jimmy. “This isn’t an ordinary weekend adventure. Between Allison’s ring and the fact that they jumped us so quickly after the first encounter, this looks like it’s going to be way more intense than usual. I expected to have a good half hour of traveling before we ran into a fight. We’re going to have to keep a much closer eye out for more ambushes as we go. It may even be worth moving off the path and into the woods as we march. It’ll be a bit slower going, but much safer.”

  Stu nodded. “I agree. I like walking in the woods anyway. It’s peaceful.”

  There were no objections, so the group set off once again. As predicted, they weren’t able to move as quickly as when they were on the path. Low bushes, while not dense, still grabbed at them, and fallen branches and logs provided obstacles for them to go around or climb over.

  “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all,” Chuck panted as he straddled yet another of the fallen logs.

  “Yeah, this may have been a mistake,” agreed Simon. “Garby may be a nature sprite, but I for one would much rather be running across an open field.”

  “Even pounded by linebackers?” quipped TJ.

  Simon barked a laugh. “No, definitely not. This is way more fun and less painful. I run track in the spring, though. No tackles then.”

  “Two-season athlete?” Stu asked, impressed. “I never really got the hang of organized sports.”

  “Three, actually,” Simon replied. “Dad’s got me in basketball in the winter. Says athletics are a year-round pursuit nowadays. Summers I’m off to camps too.”

  “Wow.” Allison put a hand on Simon’s shoulder. “Sounds like your dad is just as wound up now as he was coaching us way back when.”

  “Eh,” came the reply. “I guess.” Simon pulled ahead a few steps and fell silent. Each of the friends retreated into their own thoughts.

  A large bramble patch required them to make a wide detour, and for a time the path disappeared completely from view. None of them wanted to get lost in the woods and have to use the air horn to call for help, so they fell silent and concentrated on getting through it. When they did finally find the trail again, they gave up being sneaky and stuck to the open ground. The sky darkened as clouds passed in front of the sun, and the path took on a grayish hue. An unfamiliar trill floated through the air, answered by another in the distance. Everyone in the group froze and crouched instinctively, fearing another ambush. The calls repeated twice, but there was no visible motion on either side of the path. Stu held up a hand, pointed to himself, and made a walking motion with his fingers.

  As he crept forward, his eyes scanned left and right for any sign of danger. The ground beneath his feet was covered by a soft layer of pine needles and moss, so he made no sound
as he moved. The birds called back and forth once more, and again he froze, eyes squinting. A light breeze passed through the trees, and the leaves rattled. Up above, he spotted a flash of red, and this time the trill was accompanied by the sound of flapping wings receding into the distance.

  The tension drained and he stood up from his crouch. “Looks like it’s all clear, guys. Really was a bird. Never seen one of those before. Must be migratory or something.” He shrugged. “Let’s get moving again and see what’s up next. I can’t imagine that the doom the crazy goblin predicted was that little ambush. We should try picking up the pace.”

  The group all agreed with Stu’s assessment, and off they went again, moving a bit more quickly to make up for the time they had lost detouring around the brambles. At some point, wagon ruts appeared on the path they were following.

  “Nice touch,” TJ remarked when he noticed it. “I wonder how long it took them to get those put in. Must have taken quite a while.”

  “Eh,” replied Chuck. “We had that rain last weekend. I bet it made the ground all nice and muddy.”

  About twenty minutes later, they began to detect signs of other people. The scent of a wood fire drifted toward them on the light breeze, and in the distance they could hear the sound of voices. The path bent slightly to the right, and when they rounded the bend they came upon a small settlement. There were half a dozen ramshackle cottages clumped together along one side of the path. Between several of the buildings were makeshift roofs, under which some scrawny-looking goats had taken shelter.

  Two small children were playing with sticks in the dirt alongside the path, oblivious to the approaching friends. The six stepped out fully into the clearing, and Stu cleared his throat loudly. The children looked up and squawked in alarm before running into one of the houses. One of them shouted, “Maw! Paw! Soldiers!” The door slammed behind them, leaving the adventurers turning to each other in surprise.

  Moments later, a man in his mid- to late twenties emerged from the house, angrily brandishing a pitchfork. A woman’s head peered out through the cracked door. “What are you folks doin’ here?” the man asked. “We don’t need or want your kind here. Go on, now. Git.”